An incredible woman told me ..
“I believe God will reveal to you what He wants you to do to give hope to unborn babies.”
You don’t always choose your path. Your path will choose you. What would happen if you started to truly believe that? If you believed that you are guided by a higher power to always end up exactly where you need to be? If you knew that your “path will be revealed..”
If you gave up on the anxiety and stress of planning every minute of everyday .. because let’s be honest.. life doesn’t always go according to your schedule. Could you stop worrying about what could have been yesterday or years ago? Is letting go of that control a possibility? Could you free yourself of old regret? What if today is a fresh new start and you begin to live in the present, the now. You may want to get healthy or heal a damaged relationship .. and what if there was no other time to do it except this moment. What would you be set free of.. self doubt , worry , panic , depression from things that happened in your past? You drop your old baggage.. and just like that the heaviness is gone… you become free and immediately lighter. Clear out the negative people and clutter. It’s a choice you can make. No one deserves to suffer or grieve. But even in your darkest moments could you believe there was something more waiting for you on the other side of it?
If you trust, have faith and live in the present, could you get out of your head and hear your heart speaking to you. Connect with your soul… that piece of you that is your true self.. free of ego, masks, affectations, and pretensions. It’s the most authentic version of who you really are. To find it you must be open, vulnerable and accepting. Regardless of the world around you, your true self will always remain stable. When you connect with this .. your path becomes clear. You become grounded.
Take a minute to think about what that would look like for you. How would your world change if you truly believed the universe was always in your favor? Is there the possibility of creating more with your life just by shifting your prospective? Did you ever notice that you can’t make every detail perfect.. or that the best days and memories are always the spontaneous ones…Imagine that you are being held and supported by something bigger than yourself. Something that loves you.
Tap into that bright, blinding energy that radiates from inside you. You always have free will .. multiple paths will show up.. but that light from inside, when it shines bright enough.. when you are connected strong enough .. will always lead you down the right one. Learn how to turn it on and keep it that way. For me it’s something I am conscious of and practice everyday. I still haven’t found the permanent on switch but I’m getting closer.
Everything you think, say or feel becomes your reality. When we found out we were pregnant with twins, one of the first things my husband said to me was, “This is the best thing that ever could have happened to us.” Despite the endless challenges we were given .. and multiple roads we could have chosen… that became my mantra. I believed they were given to us for a reason and I would never give up on them. I believed they were the best thing that could have happened and I would fight for them endlessly. This was my reality. My sons would be with me ..strong and healthy. I made their nursery very early on and passed their cribs every morning picturing them there. I was as vulnerable as I could possibly be .. I was completely open.. I had no choice… I was desperate. My mother’s instinct was at an all time high.. and I was never more connected with that part of myself. I had no other objective or motive but to save my sons lives. I reached out to everyone and anyone. I prayed and put faith in angels. I somehow knew who to trust. I didn’t see a glimmer of light until I was at my very darkest.
Only in the dark can you see the stars. Sometimes it takes losing everything to reconnect to that inner self and to shine light on the right path. It was not the easiest one.. it was by far the most challenging. It took much more than just positive thinking .. by only 26 weeks old and still pregnant our sons had already seen almost 10 Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialists at 5 different hospitals, underwent 3 brain MRIs , multiple fetal echos, saw two pediatric neurologists, Pediatric cardiologists, had Chorionic villus sampling and underwent TTTS surgery after traveling 7500 miles back and forth to our doctor each time leaving my other two children home. Even their TTTS surgery was unique and I am so thankful we found Dr Quintero. We ended our last trip with an ICU visit for a few days right before coming home and then delivered at 28 weeks and finished it all with a three month NICU finale. None of it was easy. It was a nightmare. But I always knew it was the right choice. I knew no matter what happened I did everything I possibly could. I had hope and a miracle worker for our doctor.
Writing has become a great tool for me..every now and then my mind pulls me back … but these words that I write are a reminder to keep looking forward. To keep my thoughts positive remembering that like attracts like. The better your thoughts, intentions and goals, the more likely you are to have the same good come to you. You become a magnet for the same energy you project. The law of attraction is a real thing.
The people I have met along this journey have been miracle workers. Many strangers turned into best friends. Others have inspired me in so many ways. Some have suffered the greatest pain imaginable. They lost their babies. Yet, they choose to turn their grief and heartache into something beautiful. Their strength and courage are beyond words. They honor their angels and dedicate their lives to helping others in their memory.
I look at the gifts that have been given to me and the heros that brought them into this world and know my path has been chosen for me.
I started working again. A work that is not valued on money. A work that heals my soul. A work that will help save lives. It’s part of what I need to do to keep the right paths illuminated.
Your path will reveal itself. The road to it is many times jagged, dark and terrifying. But there will be that tiny voice inside of you telling you to trust. Quite your mind and try to listen to that voice.. the more you listen to it.. the louder it will get. Soon that tiny voice will grow into a scream … it will become so loud that it’s all you can hear. It will wake you up at night and set your heart on fire. You will have no choice but to listen. Remain open .. you will become more alive. The world will look different.. brighter .. your energy will start to attract like people into your space. The pieces will all fit together and the broken scary road will begin to revel more beauty than you could ever have imagined.
Three years ago on my birthday I was preparing for fetal surgery and our fate was unknown. Today my sons are here and healthy. I know I have been gifted miracles. My birthday wish is that our journey helps another mother find the path that leads to her miracle.
I know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be and I’m so grateful and humbled to live this life.
Photo credit Daria Kielek photography
In honor of Briana Maire🦋 all the other heavenly angels 🦋 and their families.
And my nanny our guardian angel